Happiness is a Choice

Martin

　　Are you happy? Do you remember a time when you were happy? Are you seeking happiness today?


　　In a poll taken in Asian countries, parents were asked what they wanted most for their children. Overwhelmingly, the response was that they wanted their children to be successful. In America, parents were asked a similar question. Universally, American parents expressed a desire for their children to be happy. People everywhere seem to be in search for happiness. Unfortunately, for many, the dream appears to be impossible.

　　Many have sought a variety of sources for their feelings of happiness. Some have put their heart and efforts into their work. Too many have turned to drugs, alcohol and promiscuity. Untold numbers have looked for it in the possession of expensive cars, exotic vacation homes, and other popular “toys.” Most of their efforts have a root in one common fact: people are looking for a lasting source of happiness.

　　Unfortunately, I believe that happiness evades many because they misunderstand the process and journey of finding it. I have heard many people say that, “I’ll be happy when I get my new promotion.” Or, “I’ll be happy when I lose that extra 20 pounds.” And, “I’ll be happy when the kids go back to school.” The list goes on and on. You probably have a few of your own you could add if you wanted.

　　This thinking is dangerous because it presupposes that happiness is a “response” to having, being or doing something. In life, we all experience stimulus and response. Stimulus is when a dog barks at you and bares his teeth. Response is when you heart beats faster, your palms get sweaty and you prepare to run. Today, some people think that an expensive car is stimulus. Happiness is a response. A great paying job is stimulus.

　　Happiness is a response. A loving relationship is stimulus. Happiness is a response. This belief leaves us thinking and feeling: “I’ll be happy when …”

　　It has been my finding that actually the opposite is true. I believe that happiness is a stimulus and response is what life brings to those who are truly happy. When we are happy, we tend to have more success in our work. When we are happy, people want to be around us and enjoying loving relationships. When we are happy, we more naturally take better care of our bodies and enjoy good health. Happiness is NOT a response – rather, it is a stimulus.

　　Happiness is a conscious choice we make every day of our lives. For unknown reasons to me, many choose to be miserable, frustrated and angry most of the time. Happiness is not something that happens to us after we get something we want – we usually get things we want AFTER we choose to be happy.

　　I have made only one simple rule for my own happiness: Every day above ground is a GOOD day. Therefore, I tend to have a lot of good days in succession.