患上末期癌症后劝人莫贪钱的美容医生张庆祥

Martin

大家早上好！

因为化疗的缘故，我的声音有点沙哑，敬请原谅。让我自我介绍，我的名字叫理查，此趟是受邀于我的朋友丹尼而来的。

我就从我是典型的现实社会的产品说起吧。这之前，我提到我们的生活习惯是如何受到现今媒体的渲染。所以我是个不折不扣的现今社会成品。我从小在社会环境的熏染下一直以为快乐是以成就来衡量。之后我就凭着成功等于财富的宗旨渐渐成长。

来自小康之家的我自小就极为好胜，无论是运动、学业、领导能力，我都要争取成为最棒，最好的！而每每也都能如我所愿。但这些并不能为我带来金钱财富。

几年前，那时候我还是眼科班的见习生时，当我看见许多医生朋友都一一离开国营医院到私营企业行医而且个个都赚大钱时，我就开始感到不耐烦。当时我对自己说，“够了，我现在走的这条路太长了。”当时医疗美容业正在蓬勃发展，相信你们也许知道这行业在几年前就一直迅速发展而我也认为那是个赚钱的大好良机。当时我就对自己说，“不能待在眼科了，我要到医疗美容界发展。”之后，我就真的离开了国营医院转到医疗美容界开拓我的事业。

事实上，我们的社会都不会把一位普通的全科医生当成英雄。绝对不会！对他们来说所谓的英雄是上流社会的名媛，政治家及富豪。所以我就立志要成为他们的一份子而我也立即投向医疗美容业。当我还在当私营业余全科医生时，许多病人会抱怨三十块钱的诊金太贵。他们会说，“哇！这医生收费好贵呀！”但这批同样的病人却乐意付高达新币一万元做抽脂手术！后来我就对自己说，“好！那就别再为人治病了，我要成为美容师，一位受过正式训练，备有医疗知识的美容师。”

后来我真的无论抽脂手术，隆胸手术，眼皮手术等等都做…这一切真的为我带来了财富，我的诊所预约期从刚开始的1个星期到1个月到2个月，之后还排到3个月！这行业的需求量惊人，许多女人都迫不及待地排队等着医生把他们变更漂亮。那么多爱美的女人让我乐此不疲。

诊所的生意蒸蒸日上，从1位医生，我再聘请2位，3位，甚至4位医生。我对所拥有的这一切都永远无法感到满足，因为我需要更多更多。后来我们就扩展到印尼，并设立了特别小组专门把印尼的一些阔太太引来诊所。事事如意的我以为我叱吒风云的时机到了。

大约在去年2月份(2011年)，我告诉自己，“既然我现在有那么多闲钱，我要为自己买第1辆法拉利。当我在准备下订的同时，我也在物色买土地盖洋房。我对一位年赚500万的银行家朋友说，“来！我们一起买地建几栋房子吧。”

当时正是我人生的巅峰，我正准备好好地享受一番。在此同时，我的朋友们包括丹尼开始重回教堂。他们对我说，“理查，跟我们一起上教堂吧。”

在二十年前，我就已经是洗过礼的基督徒了，但那时是因为我的朋友都成了教徒。为了跟风，我也参加洗礼仪式。这样一来我就能在表格上填写“基督徒”三个字来享受跟风的乐趣。事实上，我连一本圣经都没有也不知那是什么东西。

我上了几回教堂后，觉得无趣就对自己说，“不上教堂了，是时候该上大学了。我还有好多东西要追求-譬如女朋友，学业，体操等。”我心想我拥有的这一切不是靠上帝而是靠自己努力得来的。有谁还需要上帝？我靠自己就行了。

(2011年2月份)在满腔傲慢中，我告诉我的朋友们说，“你去叫你的牧师把礼拜时间改到下午两点，我可能会考虑参加。狂妄自大的我还加了一句可能我今天还在后悔说的狂语，我告诉丹尼和朋友们，“假如上帝真要我重回教堂，他一定会给我一个徵兆。”说出这番话的三周后，我就乖乖回教堂了。

癌症诊断

2011年三月，当时我还经常跑步和到健身房举重健身，一个星期有六天都在运动健身。突然有一天我感到背部疼痛而且持续了好久。后来我去照MRI(磁共振成像)看是否是腰椎间盘突出。照像的前一天，我如往常一样到健身房举重健身，蹲踞。第二天，照像结果显示我的骨髓有代谢的情况。我顿时愣了句，“哇！抱歉，那是什么意思？”

隔天，我作了PETscan(正子扫描)之后，医生就证实了我患上末期肺癌第4B期并且已扩散到脑部、半条脊椎、两个肺都长满了密密麻麻的肿瘤、肝脏、肾上腺等。

我对自己说，“这不可能！我昨天还到健身房举重健身，到底是怎么回事？不知您是否能了解我当时的心情。前一刻我还站在高高的山峰上，怎么知道第二天就收到这晴天霹雳的消息。我的世界顿时颠覆。

我无法接受。我有百多个亲戚他们当中没有一人得过癌症。我一直都认为我拥有很好的基因。这不该发生在我身上。我的亲戚当中有好多都烟不离手但他们都没事。为什么患肺癌的会是我？我无法接受这事实！

与上帝的奇遇

隔了一天，当我还是无法接受事实真相时，我就去动活体检视手术。之后，医生和护士吩咐我躺在手术床上休息15分钟以便照X-光来确定是否有纵隔气肿或气胸的状况。

我卧在手术台上，愣视着冰冷的周围。突然间听到一把声音，那不是外来的。这把声音虽小但我很清楚的感觉到那是发自心里的声音，是我从未体验过的感觉。祂说，“这一切都必须发生在你人生的高峰因为那是唯一能够让你了解的方法。”

我顿时吓了一跳，“哇！那是哪里来的声音？”一般上当我们自己自言自语时，我们会用，“好！我该几点离开这里？或者说我该上那儿吃饭？”我们不会对自己说，“你该去哪儿？但这把声音却用，“这一切都必须发生在你人生的高峰因为那是唯一能够让你了解的方法。”当时的我情绪崩溃忍不住痛哭落泪。接下来的日子里，我才深深明白为什么那是唯一能让我了解的方法。

我一向骄傲也很有天赋所以我认为我的生命中不需要任何人。我充满自信与自负，没有任何方法能使我从回上帝的身边。

假如我是患了第1或2期，我会很忙碌很努力的去找最好的心胸外科做切割手术然后再进行化疗…这项疗程的康复率很高，有谁需要上帝？但我患的是第4B期，任何人都救不了我，除了祂。

经过这一系列的事件，我还是不相信上帝。你们别以为因为那把声音的出现，我会开始相信神，开始祷祰。不！我认为那可能只是我在自言自语，我终究还是不相信。

后来当我正进行2直3星期的脑部电疗时，医生也同时期为我进行化疗前的预备工作。因为化疗期间医生会采用ZOMETA(唑来膦酸)来强化因癌细胞而受损的骨髓以防压缩性骨折。

而ZOMETA其中之一副作用是导致下颚骨坏死。所以在进行化疗之前我必须把我的智慧牙通通拔掉。在很早以前我已拔掉2颗上智齿，因为下智齿没疼痛所以我就没碰它。很理所当然地丹尼马上自告奋勇要为我“除害”。

我躺在手术椅上，问正在承受电疗所带来的副作用的自己说，“这一切还不够吗？现在还必须要忍受拔牙的痛楚。”我问丹尼，“老弟，有没有其它路可走？我不想拔牙。”他回说，“有，你能试着祷祰。”

我说，“既然祷告我也不会有什么损失，好吧！那就祷祰吧。”我们祷祰后，丹尼就为我照X-光准备进行手术。X-光结果出人意料，我竟然没有下智齿！据我所知一般人都会有4颗智慧齿或少数人一颗都没有，但据我了解少一两颗智慧齿的是非常罕见。

当时的我还是不相信祷祰的力量，我高兴地对自己说，“只要不用拔牙就好，管他呢！”

接下来我问我的肿瘤科医生，“我还能有多长时间。”他回说，“不超过6个月。”我问，“假如作化疗呢？”他说，“3到4个月吧。”

我无法掌握这事实，更无法面对。即使当我在进行电疗期间，我每天都在心理上挣扎，尤其是早上起床真希望这一切都只是一场噩梦，醒来就没事了。

我渐渐的开始惆怅，不愿接受事实。有一天的下午2点，当我正准备更衣后去复诊时，我突然感到一股莫名的祥和、舒服甚至还有一点高兴。我当时就传了个Whatsapp简讯给我的朋友们说，“兄弟，不知为何我突然感觉非常美好。”

事情过去好几天后，丹尼才向我坦白他为我斋戒了整整两天。而那天下午2点正是他刚结束斋戒的时候。我并不知他当时为我斋戒，我只知当他斋戒完的那刹那，我感到非常平和快乐。

我暗自想事情也太巧了吧！我的心开始有点动摇，但我还是选择不信。当我完成2星期的电疗后，在进行化疗之前，医生让我休息几天。

事实上肺癌的死亡率远比乳癌，大肠癌，前列腺癌(新加坡男女癌症发病率首排名表)这三大肿瘤病人的死亡率加起来还要高。原因是以上三个器官都能完全切除但肺却不能完全切除。

一般大约有10分之1的肺癌患者都有不错进展因为他们患有因子受体基因突变(EGFRmutation)，这类患者有百分之90是属于不吸烟的亚洲女性。而我第一，我是男的，第二，我偶尔在饭后或周末和朋友聚会时会抽一两根烟，所以我的肿瘤医生都认为我患有因子受体基因突变的可能性非常渺茫。

能有上述机会的机率是百分之3或4所以医生事不宜迟地为我准备进行化疗。但通过许多朋友和一些我不认识的善心人的热切祷祰，我被证实患有因子受体基因突变。哇！太棒了！这下我不用急于进行化疗了，因为我可以吃药来控制病情。

让我与您分享我吃药前后的肺部CT扫描

AFTER(后) BEFORE(前)

右边扫描图里的每一粒白点都是肿瘤，您可清楚看到许许多多的转移瘤，这只是其中一层切面图。基本上我的左右肺部都长满了数以千计的肿瘤所以医生说即使进行化疗我顶多也只能活3到4个月。

但因为我的肺癌是由因子受体基因突变造成所以有口服药能控制。服用了两个月药后你能看到左边扫描结果，这就是神的力量！也因祂我今天还能站在这儿和您分享。你可以清楚看到用药前后的不同。

当时我还是不相信神能造什么奇迹因为我认为这一切都归功于药物。日复一日，朋友们继续为我不断地祷祰，数月后我的肿瘤指标渐渐的下降，百分之90的肿瘤也清除了。

相信你也知道一旦有医疗临床知识，你清楚了解即使服药也只能控制1到2年。那并不是一件好事因为你很清楚肿瘤每时每刻都在转变。总有一天，它们会对药物产生抵抗，到那时候你就会无药可救了。

拥有这些知识对我来说是精神上极大的折磨。癌症不只是肉体的折磨更是精神上极大的酷刑。您该怎么去面对无望的未来？您该怎么去活在不能拥有长远计划的人生？医师劝我多忍耐一两个月或许我的心情能够平复一些。2011年的3月和4月是我人生中的最低迷的时候。即使病情渐渐好转但我每一天都活在精神和肉体的折磨之中。

接纳与平和

有一天下午当我躺在床上不断的质问上帝为什么要我承受此等的折磨？为什么要我承受如此艰难的痛苦和挣扎？为什么偏偏是我？

就在我渐渐刚开始入睡着时，我隐约梦见一把声音说，“希伯来书第12章，7-8节。”

我当时并没读过圣经，不知希伯来是什么？更不知圣经到底总共有几章？真的毫无头绪。

但我记得非常清楚是希伯来书第12章，7-8节

之后也没多想就继续睡了。睡醒后，我想，“反正也没什么损失，就查看看吧！”之前丹尼送了本新的圣经给我。在查阅时，希伯来听起来像是个很古老的名称所以我认为应该在圣经里的旧约，于是我就翻找旧约，谁知找不到，我顿时好失望。

后来我想，“可能会在新约，试试看吧！”天啊！新约中真的有希伯来书第12章，第7-8节。祂说，“你们所忍受的，是神管教你们，待你们如同儿子。焉有儿子不被父亲管教的呢？管教原是众子所共受的，你们若不受管教，就是私子，不是儿子了。”

我顿时感到鸡皮疙瘩，说，“哇！这是从哪儿来的？不可能，对吗？我的意思是能在没读过圣经而凭着梦境找到明确的章节来回答自己的问题的机率有多高呢？

我深信那是神的回应，祂在我迷迷糊糊挣扎着睡了的时候所问祂，“为什么要我承受此等的折磨？”祂回答说，“你所忍受的，是神管教你，待你如同儿子。”

这简直比我得因子受体基因突变的机率更渺小。圣经里有千千万万个章节，我这么可能幻想得出这章节呢？

当下我信服地对祂说，“你赢了！你赢了！”

那天之后我就开始相信上帝而我最后一次听到祂的声音是在4月下旬。那把来自心里的声音又悄悄地在我午睡时出现，而这次我已不再象之前一样挣扎入睡。在梦境里，我听到祂说，“帮助那些正陷在困境中的人。”

那听起来像是命令而不是陈述。之后我就开始帮助陷在困境中的人。我也开始了解到陷在困境中的人并不一定是贫穷的。事实上，许多贫穷人过得比你我还幸福快乐因为他们容易满足。

困苦能发生在有钱人的身上，它能是肉体上、精神上或是社群中等等。而我也在接下来的几个月里体会到什么是真正的快乐。从前的我以为有钱就是快乐而快乐就是要不断地追求财富。让我告诉你当我在临终边缘时，我的法拉利跑车，想买的土地和洋房，生意等对我已经变得毫无意义了。

这些东西都无法为我带来丁点的安慰和快乐。你认为我还能抱着我的跑车而感到愉悦吗？不！不可能！

真正的快乐是来自于与人的沟通。许多时候都是我们的自尊心作祟。从前的我会在农历新年时驾着我的跑车到亲朋戚友们的家向他们炫耀，我当时还以为那是快乐。你真的认为那卖你跑车的销售员真的替您高兴吗？你的亲朋好友真的能与您分享你所谓的喜悦吗？事实上，你只是让他们更加羡慕，妒嫉甚至憎恨你。他们并不能和您分享你所谓的喜悦，那只是非常短暂的炫耀让他们知道我拥有他们没能力拥有的，而我当时竟然以为那就是快乐！

所以其实我们是把自己的快乐建筑在别人的痛苦上，那不叫快乐。当我面对死亡时，我无法想像我还能抱着我心爱的跑车而感到欢喜。

真正的快乐是来自于人与人之间的沟通。几个月前，当我还感到非常颓丧时，我发现与家人、朋友和教会的兄弟姐妹们沟通能使我更有推动力。他们在我身边分享我的苦与乐-那才是真正的快乐。

你们知道什么能使你展颜欢笑吗？那种快乐来自于帮助受苦难的人。因为我经历过所以我知道其中痛苦的滋味。有很多和我一样患癌的病人跟我说有很多人不断地告诉他们，“你一定要保持乐观，一定要乐观。”我们心里想，“说得好！你为何不试着站在我的立场试着告诉你自己一定要保持乐观。”

我就不一样因为我目前还是病患所以我就到处与其他癌症病人分享及鼓励他们。因为我与他们是同病相连所以也使我们比较容易沟通。

我认为最真正的快乐是来自于认识上帝。我说的不是知晓上帝，因为我们可以在圣经里读到祂的事迹。我的意思是和上帝建立一种亲密的关系，那是我在学习中认为最重要宝贵的。

让我总结，我提过我们必须尽早认清我们生命中的重点而且是越早越好，千万不要像我，因为以我过去的个性，我别无选择只能通过最痛苦的路才能使我重新回到上帝的身边。我非常感谢上帝赐于我这个恩典因为在我生命中发生了3次严重的车祸。以前驾跑车时总爱飑车但每次遇到车祸即使车差点翻了我都能没事！假如当时真的因车祸而挂了，我真不知自己的灵魂会到那儿。虽然我在18年前已洗过礼但那时是因为好玩跟风。如今发生这一切让我有机会回到上帝的身边。

这一路上，我学到：

1.要完全信任主,这是非常重要的。

2.要关爱及为他人服务，不能只一味的为自己

我认为富裕并没有错因为上帝愿赐于许多人财富但问题是我们不懂得应付。我们有越多就要拥有更多，我经历过，那是种泥足深陷的情况，它会让你无法自拔而失去方向导致我们尊奉金钱而不是上帝。这都是我们人类的本能，不容易躲避。

我们都是专业人士，有一天我们都会各自到不同的私营企业行医开始我们的事业，这是当然的。我想你记得这一点就是你所累积的财富其实并不属于你的。我们都无权拥有这些财富因为那都是上帝赐予的恩典。你要记得更重要是我们必须宣扬神的真理而不是一味只为了自己。

反正我已经历过，我知道生命中只有财富没有神是非常虚空的。当你在世上累积你的财富时，千万别忘了累积上帝赐予我们在天堂的财富。

今天就到此，很高兴能与你们分享。谢谢！

(此笔由理查夫人翻译)


Hi good morning to all of you.

My voice is a bit hoarse, so please bear with me. I thought I’ll just introduce myself. My name is Richard, I’m a medical doctor. And I thought I’ll just share some thoughts of my life. It’s my pleasure to be invited by prof. Hopefully, it can get you thinking about how. as you pursue this. embarking on your training to become dental surgeons, to think about other things as well.

Since young, I am a typical product of today’s society. Relatively successful product that society requires. From young, I came from a below average family. I was told by the media. and people around me that happiness is about success. And that success is about being wealthy. With this mind-set, I’ve always be extremely competitive, since I was young.

Not only do I need to go to the top school, I need to have success in all fields. Uniform groups, track, everything. I needed to get trophies, needed to be successful, I needed to have colours award, national colours award, everything. So I was highly competitive since young. I went on to medical school, graduated as a doctor. Some of you may know that within the medical faculty, ophthalmology is one of the most highly sought after specialities. So I went after that as well. I was given a traineeship in ophthalmology, I was also given a research scholarship by NUS to develop lasers to treat the eye.

So in the process, I was given 2 patents, one for the medical devices, and another for the lasers. And you know what, all this academic achievements did not bring me any wealth. So once I completed my bond with MOH, I decided that this is taking too long, the training in eye surgery is just taking too long. And there’s lots of money to be made in the private sector. If you’re aware, in the last few years, there is this rise in aesthetic medicine. Tons of money to be made there. So I decided, well, enough of staying in institution, it’s time to leave. So I quit my training halfway and I went on to set up my aesthetic clinic… in town, together with a day surgery centre.

You know the irony is that people do not make heroes out average GP (general practitioner), family physicians. They don’t. They make heroes out of people who are rich and famous. People who are not happy to pay $20 to see a GP, the same person have no qualms paying ten thousand dollars for a liposuction, 15 thousand dollars for a breast augmentation, and so on and so forth. So it’s a no brainer isn’t? Why do you want to be a gp? Become an aesthetic physician. So instead of healing the sick and ill, I decided that I’ll become a glorified beautician. So, business was good, very good. It started off with waiting of one week, then became 3weeks, then one month, then 2 months, then 3 months. I was overwhelmed; there were just too many patients. Vanities are fantastic business. I employed one doctor, the second doctor, the 3rd doctor, the 4th doctor. And within the 1st year, we’re already raking in millions. Just the 1st year. But never is enough because I was so obsessed with it. I started to expand into Indonesia to get all the rich Indonesian tai-tais who wouldn’t blink an eye to have a procedure done. So life was really good.

So what do I do with the spare cash. How do I spend my weekends? Typically, I’ll have car club gatherings. I take out my track car, with spare cash I got myself a track car. We have car club gatherings. We’ll go up to Sepang in Malaysia. We’ll go for car racing. And it was my life. With other spare cash, what do i do? I get myself a Ferrari. At that time, the 458 wasn’t out, it’s just a spider convertible, 430. This is a friend of mine, a schoolmate who is a forex trader, a banker. So he got a red one, he was wanting all along a red one, I was getting the silver one.

So what do I do after getting a car? It’s time to buy a house, to build our own bungalows. So we go around looking for a land to build our own bungalows, we went around hunting. So how do i live my life? Well, we all think we have to mix around with the rich and famous. This is one of the Miss Universe. So we hang around with the beautiful, rich and famous. This by the way is an internet founder. So this is how we spend our lives, with dining and all the restaurants and Michelin Chefs you know.

So I reach a point in life that I got everything for my life. I was at the pinnacle of my career and all. That’s me one year ago in the gym and I thought I was like, having everything under control and reaching the pinnacle.

Well, I was wrong. I didn’t have everything under control. About last year March, I started to develop backache in the middle of nowhere. I thought maybe it was all the heavy squats I was doing. So I went to SGH, saw my classmate to do an MRI, to make sure it’s not a slipped disc or anything. And that evening, he called me up and said that we found bone marrow replacement in your spine. I said, sorry what does that mean? I mean I know what it means, but I couldn’t accept that. I was like “Are you serious?” I was still running around going to the gym you know. But we had more scans the next day, PET scans – positrons emission scans, they found that actually I have stage 4 terminal lung cancer. I was like “Whoa where did that come from?” It has already spread to the brain, the spine, the liver and the adrenals. And you know one moment I was there, totally thinking that I have everything under control, thinking that I’ve reached the pinnacle of my life. But the next moment, I have just lost it.

This is a CT scan of the lungs itself. If you look at it, every single dot there is a tumour. We call this miliaries tumour. And in fact, I have tens of thousands of them in the lungs. So, I was told that even with chemotherapy, that I’ll have about 3-4months at most. Did my life come crushing on, of course it did, who wouldn’t? I went into depression, of course, severe depression and I thought I had everything.

See the irony is that all these things that I have, the success, the trophies, my cars, my house and all. I thought that brought me happiness. But i was feeling really down, having severe depression. Having all these thoughts of my possessions, they brought me no joy. The thought of. You know, I can hug my Ferrari to sleep, no. No, it is not going to happen. It brought not a single comfort during my last ten months. And I thought they were, but they were not true happiness. But it wasn’t. What really brought me joy in the last ten months was interaction with people, my loved ones, friends, people who genuinely care about me, they laugh and cry with me, and they are able to identify the pain and suffering I was going through. That brought joy to me, happiness. None of the things I have, all the possessions, and I thought those were supposed to bring me happiness. But it didn’t, because if it did, I would have felt happy think about it, when I was feeling most down.

You know the classical Chinese New Year that is coming up. In the past, what do I do? Well, I will usually drive my flashy car to do my rounds, visit my relatives, to show it off to my friends. And I thought that was joy, you know. I thought that was really joy. But do you really think that my relatives and friends, whom some of them have difficulty trying to make ends meet, that will truly share the joy with me? Seeing me driving my flashy car and showing off to them? No, no way. They won’t be sharing joy with me. They were having problems trying to make ends meet, taking public transport. In fact i think, what I have done is more like you know, making them envious, jealous of all I have. In fact, sometimes even hatred.

Those are what we call objects of envy. I have them, I show them off to them and I feel it can fill my own pride and ego. That didn’t bring any joy to these people, to my friends and relatives, and I thought they were real joy.

Well, let me just share another story with you. You know when I was about your age, I stayed in king Edward VII hall. I had this friend whom I thought was strange. Her name is Jennifer, we’re still good friends. And as I walk along the path, she would, if she sees a snail, she would actually pick up the snail and put it along the grass patch. I was like why do you need to do that? Why dirty your hands? It’s just a snail. The truth is she could feel for the snail. The thought of being crushed to death is real to her, but to me it’s just a snail. If you can’t get out of the pathway of humans then you deserve to be crushed, it’s part of evolution isn’t it? What an irony isn’t it?

There I was being trained as a doctor, to be compassionate, to be able to empathise; but I couldn’t. As a house officer, I graduated from medical school, posted to the oncology department at NUH. And, every day, every other day I witness death in the cancer department. When I see how they suffered, I see all the pain they went through. I see all the morphine they have to press every few minutes just to relieve their pain. I see them struggling with their oxygen breathing their last breath and all. But it was just a job. When I went to clinic every day, to the wards every day, take blood, give the medication but was the patient real to me? They weren’t real to me. It was just a job, I do it, I get out of the ward, I can’t wait to get home, I do my own stuff.

Was the pain, was the suffering the patients went through real? No. Of course I know all the medical terms to describe how they feel, all the suffering they went through. But in truth, I did not know how they feel, not until I became a patient. It is until now; I truly understand how they feel. And, if you ask me, would I have been a very different doctor if I were to re-live my life now, I can tell you yes I will. Because I truly understand how the patients feel now. And sometimes, you have to learn it the hard way.

Even as you start just your first year, and you embark this journey to become dental surgeons, let me just challenge you on two fronts.

Inevitably, all of you here will start to go into private practice. You will start to accumulate wealth. I can guarantee you. Just doing an implant can bring you thousands of dollars, it’s fantastic money. And actually there is nothing wrong with being successful, with being rich or wealthy, absolutely nothing wrong. The only trouble is that a lot of us like myself couldn’t handle it.

Why do I say that? Because when I start to accumulate, the more I have, the more I want. The more I wanted, the more obsessed I became. Like what I showed you earlier on, all I can was basically to get more possessions, to reach the pinnacle of what society did to us, of what society wants us to be. I became so obsessed that nothing else really mattered to me. Patients were just a source of income, and I tried to squeeze every single cent out of these patients.

A lot of times we forget, whom we are supposed to be serving. We become so lost that we serve nobody else but just ourselves. That was what happened to me. Whether it is in the medical, the dental fraternity, I can tell you, right now in the private practice, sometimes we just advise patients on treatment that is not indicated. Grey areas. And even though it is not necessary, we kind of advocate it. Even at this point, I know who are my friends and who genuinely cared for me and who are the ones who try to make money out of me by selling me “hope”. We kind of lose our moral compass along the way. Because we just want to make money.

Worse, I can tell you, over the last few years, we bad mouth our fellow colleagues, our fellow competitors in the industry. We have no qualms about it. So if we can put them down to give ourselves an advantage, we do it. And that’s what happening right now, medical, dental everywhere. My challenge to you is not to lose that moral compass. I learnt it the hard way, I hope you don’t ever have to do it.

Secondly, a lot of us will start to get numb to our patients as we start to practise. Whether is it government hospitals, private practice, I can tell you when I was in the hospital, with stacks of patient folders, I can’t wait to get rid of those folders as soon as possible; I can’t wait to get patients out of my consultation room as soon as possible because there is just so many, and that’s a reality. Because it becomes a job, a very routine job. And this is just part of it. Do I truly know how the patient feels back then? No, I don’t. The fears and anxiety and all, do I truly understand what they are going through? I don’t, not until when this happens to me and I think that is one of the biggest flaws in our system.

We’re being trained to be healthcare providers, professional, and all and yet we don’t know how exactly they feel. I’m not asking you to get involved emotionally, I don’t think that is professional but do we actually make a real effort to understand their pain and all? Most of us won’t, alright, I can assure you. So don’t lose it, my challenge to you is to always be able to put yourself in your patient’s shoes.

Because the pain, the anxiety, the fear are very real even though it’s not real to you, it’s real to them. So don’t lose it and you know, right now I’m in the midst of my 5th cycle of my chemotherapy. I can tell you it’s a terrible feeling. Chemotherapy is one of those things that you don’t wish even your enemies to go through because it’s just suffering, lousy feeling, throwing out, you don’t even know if you can retain your meals or not. Terrible feeling! And even with whatever little energy now I have, I try to reach out to other cancer patients because I truly understand what pain and suffering is like. But it’s kind of little too late and too little.

You guys have a bright future ahead of you with all the resource and energy, so I’m going to challenge you to go beyond your immediate patients. To understand that there are people out there who are truly in pain, truly in hardship. Don’t get the idea that only poor people suffer. It is not true. A lot of these poor people do not have much in the first place, they are easily contented. for all you know they are happier than you and me but there are out there, people who are suffering mentally, physically, hardship, emotionally, financially and so on and so forth, and they are real. We choose to ignore them or we just don’t want to know that they exist.

So do think about it alright, even as you go on to become professionals and dental surgeons and all. That you can reach out to these people who are in need. Whatever you do can make a large difference to them. I’m now at the receiving end so I know how it feels, someone who genuinely care for you, encourage and all. It makes a lot of difference to me. That’s what happens after treatment. I had a treatment recently, but I’ll leave this for another day. A lot of things happened along the way, that’s why I am still able to talk to you today.

I’ll just end of with this quote here, it’s from this book called Tuesdays with Morris, and some of you may have read it. Everyone knows that they are going to die; every one of us knows that. The truth is, none of us believe it because if we did, we will do things differently. When I faced death, when I had to, I stripped myself off all stuff totally and I focused only on what is essential. The irony is that a lot of times, only when we learn how to die then we learn how to live. I know it sounds very morbid for this morning but it’s the truth, this is what I’m going through.

Don’t let society tell you how to live. Don’t let the media tell you what you’re supposed to do. Those things happened to me. And I led this life thinking that these are going to bring me happiness. I hope that you will think about it and decide for yourself how you want to live your own life. Not according to what other people tell you to do, and you have to decide whether you want to serve yourself, whether you are going to make a difference in somebody else’s life. Because true happiness doesn’t come from serving yourself. I thought it was but it didn’t turn out that way.



原文地址：http://www.richardteo.com/his-story-in-words/